This is how women feel when they win an impressive title, but not support.
Increased numbers of female leaders in the country is more difficult than we think. When I was younger, the task of the organization I worked for was to “hire more professional women,” but no one told me when I was hired.
So, great – I got a job, title, salary, and seating at the executive table. I was excited about the opportunity to use my skills and promote the company’s mission. And soon, all the white groups asked me to take notes.
At 27, I was totally shocked and had little words to say. Still, I voiced my disappointment later on in a direct report. He led the organization’s branch, and the response was that taking notes (with his head bowed and writing at meetings) was a way for me to learn about the company.
Like a 6 year old at an adult dinner table in a home in the 1950s, I felt like I was allowed to sit at a big table and graffiti, unless I made eye contact or noise.
As the only woman in the circle, I felt reduced, irritated and deceived. I left work a few months later. Surprisingly, and soon after, the organization returned to recruit me again! And that was when I had negotiation power.
How stupid and how wasted time, money, effort, and pain when you have to go through that dance to gain respect!
But the invisible barriers to women’s acceptance in the leadership team were still there, and every day felt like a fight. It’s tired of speaking in the softest voice in the room and fighting to be recognized for your expertise, so that you have to stay on the ground. A few years later, I left forever.
But here is a visual that helps women explain what happens. Before leaving the second time, the organization held a day of professional development to promote empowerment across ranks. And yes, I played a role in creating this event. I brought a basketball.
I shot the basket myself for a while, but soon others were there. Many others are enough for two teams. Others who were taller, stronger, bigger and had more basketball experiences – yes, younger men. I quickly realized that no one was throwing the ball at me as I ran up and down the court.
Quietly I stepped in, but others enjoyed what I had brought that day. No one noticed it. No one thanked me. No one gave me the ball back. I had to get it back at the end of the day. Try some layups again before dribbling the ball into the car.
This is how women feel when they win an impressive title, but not support. As Harvard Business Review points out, this happens as a result of corporate culture! There are invisible barriers like “second generation bias.” In places like this, even the three-point successes delivered by women will not be noticed or there will be little fanfare.
“And this is very unfair! ” Stomp my inner child. However, this gender bias is invisible.
And this is why women are shy, shut down and stop playing ball. And according to the Harvard Business Journal, female leaders in such cases are said to be “lack of presence” and “not open enough at meetings.” Essentially, it’s their fault. They are not leadership material.
This solution appears to be two things for companies that women need and want to lead. Support women by helping women develop and internalize their leadership identity with a sense of purpose.
“Integrating leadership into one’s core identity is particularly challenging for women, and women must establish credibility in their culture. Culture must be deeply conflicted about whether, when, and how to exercise authority,” the article states.
And that’s why women need to be supported, guided and encouraged to consider themselves a leader. FBN
Bonnie Stevens, FBN
For more information on this topic, read “Women Rising: The Unseen Barriers” by Herminia Ibarra, Robin J. Ely and Deborah M. Kolb in the Harvard Business Review.
Bonnie Stevens is the editor of FBN. She is a career journalist and public relations consultant. She can be contacted at bonnie.stevens@gmail.com.
