Boston Red Sox outfielder Jarrenduran said the calamities on the field during the 2021 and 2022 seasons have fueled the mental health struggle so much that he wanted to commit suicide.
Interviewed in the docusary “Clubhouse: Year with the Red Sox,” Duran premiered on Netflix on Tuesday, saying he didn’t meet his own expectations and wouldn’t disappoint others.
“I had already heard that from the fans,” Duran said at the Doxalies. “And what they said to me, [it was like]”I got 10 times worse in the mirror.” That really struggled for me. I didn’t want to be here anymore. ”
“…I was sitting in the room, I had a rifle, I had a bullet, I had a bullet, I pulled the trigger and clicked on the gun, but nothing happened. Do you want to be here, or don’t you want to be here?” That happens for a reason, and obviously you have a reason, so it’s the way you want to be [the way] You want to play and live the way you want to live. ”
Red Sox outfielder Jarlen Duran said he hadn’t met his own expectations early in his major league career and that he fueled his mental health struggle to the point where he tried to commit suicide, not letting others down. AP Photo/Jeffrey McWater
Duran, 28, entered the majors with the Red Sox as a rookie in 2021, hitting .215 with 10 RBIs in 33 games. The following season was slightly better, but he hit .221 with 17 RBI in 58 games.
However, his career began his upward trajectory in 2023 after being recalled from Triple A early in the season. He hit .295 with 40 RBI in 102 games, stealing 24 bases and earning 46 runs. He became his first All-Star in 2024, and was the MVP of that game, setting a career-high for that season with home runs (21), runs (111), RBI (75) and stolen bases (34).
Duran, who finished eighth in the MVP voting, avoided arbitration this offseason and reached a one-year contract for $3.85 million, including the 2026 team option.
“Jarlen’s decision to share his story is an act of courage to reach far beyond baseball,” Red Sox president and CEO Sam Kennedy said in a statement. “He shows that they are not alone, they are not okay with not only asking for help, but also showing others who may be struggling to be essential.
“All members of this organization stand with him. He has deep admiration for us. He has always had full support from us and we are very fortunate to have him as part of our team.”
Duran was suspended for two games last season after an anti-gay slur was released against fans. He apologised, telling the fans, “I’m sorry for what I do,” and “I’m going to work on getting better for them.”
In the docusary, Duran keeps his daily diary and says he gives him a small reminder to help him focus on his mental health.
“On top [the tape on] My left wrist, I wrote[F—] “em,” “You’re not going to fudge me,” Duran said in the docusary.
